Good morning elves. It’s Santa Connolly accompanied by my helper, Rudolf McMichael, with the perfect gift suggestions for you.
Bentley Continental GT Limited Edition Pikes Peak
Of all the luxury liners available for sale the only brand that doesn’t make you look like a Double Bay cowboy or cowgirl or cowperson is a Bentley (the Bentley SUV excluded). Nothing shouts nouveau riche (better to be nouveau riche than never riche at all) than a Mazzer/Bentley/Fezzer/ Roller or similar SUV. But look, let’s call an accountant, a brown cardigan-wearing number cruncher. Bentleys are seriously good cars but they are the accountants of the upmarket car makers. But not the new Bentley Pikes Peak. Take a squiz at the pic.
They are only making 15. Each one has exclusive radium (green) by Mulliner paintwork and carbon fibre body kit. And you can pay even more for the optional 100 grille marking Bentley’s centenary year. Anyway the PR persons at Bentley’s owners, VW, had a great idea. “Let’s get rid of the perception that our cars are only for persons just about to move into the Peppermint Grove Home of Peace by getting two-time Pikes Peak champion Rhys Millen (who was born in NZ but converted to Americanism and drifting) to break the hill climb record and then do a limited edition car which we can charge the sort of money that would make the Feezer factory turn green with envy (hence the colour of the car),” VW PR guru Wilhelm Klink said.
So Bro Rhys took the Continental up the 20km, 156-turn hill eight seconds faster that the old record holder, a Porker 911 turbo S. OK. If you want a 12-cylinder twin-turbocharged 900nm of torque with a top speed of 333km/h in your Santa sack just ring your local dealer. If you want me to tell you the price then best you move on to the next gift idea.
The LEGO® technic™ 42083 Bugatti Chiron advanced building set.
Save yourself over $5m on the full size Chiron by buying this 1:8 scale model of the V16, 1176KW, 484km/h, made in Molsheim, France for $599.99. Duh! I’m talking about the real Chiron being made in France, not the bricks, which are made in all sorts of weird countries including Denmark. Friends and readers, don’t forget to ask for the Hobart discount when you buy a LEGO product. The place is ruled by our own Princess Meg. Tassie lass, Meg, met Crown Prince Fred of Denmark at the Slip Inn in Sydney which has since become a mecca for upwardly ambitious persons hoping to snag their very own royal.
While $600 may seem a lot for a little plastic car you do get a wealth of luxurious features, including aerodynamic bodywork with an active rear wing, logoed spoked rims with low-profile tires, detailed brake discs, a W16 engine with moving pistons, a detailed cockpit featuring a LEGO® technic™ 8-speed gearbox with movable paddle gearshift and a steering wheel bearing the Bugatti emblem.
The Self Preservation Society — 50 Years of The Italian Job
Marking 50 years of one the greatest car movies of all time, Matty Fields’ coffee table tome won the 2019 Royal Automobile Club’s Motoring Book of the Year. Classic & Sports Car editor and RAC judge, Mick Walsh said the book was “a remarkable celebration of this cult movie classic that author Matthew Field has researched passionately since his teenage years. Bloody brilliant!”. And it is. Lots of photos and not too many words. I paid $80 from Amazon.
Road to Bathurst
Road to Bathurst is the only packaged program in Australia developed to take a novice driver, with limited or no track experience, through a series of training days and race events to a race at the road that’s closed a few times a year to become a circuit with an “inherent unpredictable nature — blind corners, sudden gradient changes and the fastest corner in touring car racing in the world”. Run by WART member Phil Alexander, the program puts you on the track in one of his race cars, supplies the pit-crew, race manager and the support while you progress from sprint racing to the more demanding enduro racing over a year. About $30k. raceawaytracktime.com.au.
The Shitbox Rally
My favourite motoring event in the world. Next year two chances to drive a car less than a grand over some of the toughest roads in this or any other universe.
Shitbox Rally 2020 Autumn in May goes from Alice Springs to the Gold Coast via the Gulf of Carpentaria. Shitbox Rally 2020 Spring in October wends its way from Mackay to Darwin. Entry price is a $5k minimum fund raise for cancer but you’ll be expected to hit your friends for a lot more. The SBR is not for everyone. This is not a Variety Bash. There are lots of camping, lots of socialising and no room for attitude. Organiser James Freeman somehow manages 250 cars and 550 people over six days with few problems. www.shitboxrally.com.au.
Dog Sledding in the Arctic Circle
The perfect gift for you: you and your partner or you, your partner and those kids in your family you really like. Buy the mushing-packed five-day wilderness safari covering from 30km to 40km each day with your own team of six Huskies. Be aware, unlike Disney’s movie Frozen, the dogs and other animals do poo and wee, the snow is really cold, the sun comes up late and goes down early and the reindeer aren’t friendly. About $3k a person from hettahuskies.com.
Coopers DIY Beer Brew Kit
Looking for a new hobby? Searching for a way to relax between brain surgeries? Look no further than the Coopers do-it-yourself beer-making kit where you can wave a few ingredients and hey presto there’s 23 litres or enough to get you through any tough day. And it’s on special: $99 including free delivery. Buy two. Give one to the kiddies.
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