When “two much” fun is barely enough, you know you must be in septic land for not one but two F1 races.
Yes, this weekend it’s the United States Grand Prix in the city famous for absolutely nothing, but Circuit of the Americas management has responded by keeping ticket prices down to $9176 – and that includes access to the Germania Insurance Super Stage Festival Lawn where, what I hope are a choral group, The Killers, are appearing with Queen and Adam Lambert, who is taking the place of Farrokh Bulsara, aka Freddie Mercury, 77, of Kensington, who is dead.
It would be fair to say that Circuit of the Americas’ management is not desperate enough to open Peppermint Parkway for the race. While PP is a magical drive-through experience featuring 1.5km of immersive holiday displays, millions of lights, dancing elves and Pepper & Mint, it is believed Daniel Ricciardo, 34, of Perth, kiboshed the idea saying: “I’m not coming back after a crash with Oscar (Piastri, 22, of Brighton) where I smashed my wrist, to look at kiddies looking at elves.”
One driver not looking forward to Austin is Lance Strulovitch, aka Stroll, who is said to be slated for the flick from Aston Martin for driving slowly and blueing with his physio.
Merc tells us they have fixed their bottoms so all they need to do to be somewhere after Mad Max is to fix their cars running into each other. Don’t think Max won’t win on Sunday with young Oscar a big chance for a podium.
Of course, the big F1 news is whether Mick Andretti’s team will get a start. Just the suggestion they got the nod sent the Nasdaq-listed F1 (FWONK) share price to a near record $110. Then again, FWONK is one of the hedge funds’ favourite toys, so expect some selling soon.
Unhappily, my favourite potential F1 team LKYSUNZ won’t get a start. LKYSUNZ takes its name from a combination of “Lucky”, which it calls a “nod to the Asian heritage of the team”, and “SUNZ” representing the sun. Team creator, French person Ben Durand, is hot on diversity and giving African and Asian persons a go in a sport dominated by “very English, European” persons.
Despite the team lacking a few things that more conservative English, European teams would think were important, like an engine, the F1 said no to LKYSUNZ and the FWONK share price didn’t crash.
After Austin, the F1 circus heads off to Mexico, Brazil and then the inaugural Grand Prix Las Vegas. The real inaugural Grand Prix Las Vegas was in 1981 and won by Melbourne’s Alan Jones. Anyway, there’s some nice seats for $36k but no Killers or Queens, instead music persons you’ve never heard of including multi-Latin Grammy Award-winning artist and global superstar J Balvin, music titans Major Lazer, nude portrait painter M McMichael and of course the big hotels have shows with dead people including Michael Jackson, the Beatles and the Bee Gees.
If you want your own F1 experience, RM will be in Las Vegas selling Hamo’s 2013 Merc F1 car that was driven by the hamster in 14 out of 19 races that season. Our own Mark Weber beat Hamo in the drivers’ championship, although Seb Vettel took first spot from Fred Alonso. Expect to pay $18m.
Bit light on? Then what about the 2017 LaFerrari Aperta for somewhere around $8m. One of about 200 to get into private hands, the Aperta is a hybrid open top with a V12 putting out 708kW and an electric motor that you should never use.
Talking of women in motorsport, Mick Andretti is boss of one of the few teams that actually walks the talk. Racing in Mick’s INDY NXT team is Jamie Chadwick. Despite being a soap dodger (born in Bath), Jamie scored five top-10 finishes this year. And guess who Jamie is racing against? Matthew Brabham. (Please don’t ask who Matty is the grandson of.)
Talking more about women in motorsport: not only have they always been and continue to be rare, but early on they were even more invisible than they are now. Ever heard of Mary Seed? Mary was the world land speed record holder, came third in the NSW Road Racing Championship at Mt Panorama, won the Australian Hill Climb Championship and raced very successfully in the UK. Anyway, the point of this, apart from pointing out MX-5 driver Kiara Zabetakis will be the new Mary Seed, is to suggest you have a squiz at Mary’s 1956 long boot AC Ace Bristol, up for sale at AC Heritage in the old country (no, not Echuca). It’s had a bare metal conservation restoration, rebuilt to FIA specifications, full matching numbers and extraordinary documentation. I have no idea on value except that our government should buy it for $500k.
Talking of the Newcastle 500 (a Supercars race) being postponed forever because a survey found locals didn’t want it (you know those surveys: “Are you against Supercars racing around the streets of Newcastle where its been proven they cause cancer, leprosy, and Alice In Wonderland Syndrome?), our own Toby Price has just won the 2023 Rallye du Maroc from a heap of people whose name I can’t pronounce.
Talking of the Gold Coast 500, it’s on next weekend with more music persons you’ve never heard of including The Presets, Client Liason and Illy (aka Alasdair David George Murray, 27, of Frankston). Tickets from $3k. Coming into the Goldie, it’s Brodie Kostecki leading the bearded points score, from the very bearded Shane van Gisbergen and the too young to shave, Will Brown.
And in news just in, this column has generously agreed to broadcast the 2023 MX-5 Cup Grand Presentation Event at the Benzin Café in December.
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