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Yup. It’s good news week for car owners. Over the last few days GM in the USA decided to recall about one million SUVs to have their airbags replaced.

Then the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration said it wants 67 million airbags in 38.5 million cars recalled.

NHTSA told every septic alive (or what passes for alive) it was worried that the airbag inflators could explode in a crash and spray the inside of the car with shrapnel. This is not a dealer option and what’s more it could cause serious injury, death … or worse.

The airbag inflator maker, ARC Automotive, disagrees. It says it has done heaps of tests and can’t replicate the shrapnel show.

ARC sells inflators to most of the world’s largest carmakers including VW, Hyundai, Chrysler and Kia to name but four. Some of them did their own recalls.

BMW asked for owners to bring their 2017 X5s back. Ford asked for their Mustangs and F150s, General Motors for Chevrolet Malibus, Traverses, Buick Enclaves, and Volkswagen issued a recall suggesting some Audis and VWs should return to the maker.

If you’re in China, you’ve had to bring your Tesla back in for not much at all (a slight brake problem), which follows the US recall of more than 362,000 cars with the full self driving driver-assistance system.

If you’re in Australia, you won’t know about all these recalls because clearly they are all made in different factories to the ones sold here.

Anyway, you only have to Google vehicle recalls to see, and let me give you a few hints; if your Merc GLE, Peugeot, Jeep, MG, Porker Carrera GT, Range Rover, Ford Everest or Audi needs a trip to the dealer.

Most are pretty minor but if you own an Audi A6 or A7 and you regularly bring a traveller with you in the back seat to ease your nerves, or your continence isn’t what it used to be, then liquid or liquid droplets may spill on the rear seat damaging or killing the control unit for network management.

Then again, we know most Australia new car companies would rather do anything than recall or fix a serious problem no matter what the price of the car. I know you think the more you pay the better the service and, while that’s sometimes true, let’s look at the case of reader 14, who paid $240k in June 2008 for a BMW Six series LCI Convertible; $240k was a lot of money then.

Now unless reader 14 only sought to have the Beemer out on the driveway to show, he could ­afford a yellow Lambo but had more taste, he probably wanted the car to go more than a few kilometres before it gave up the ghost.

On five separate occasions between June 2008 and March 2010, it started normally but soon stopped permanently, stranding reader 14 and his companion on the side of the road. To quote reader 14: “It was absolutely lifeless, it wasn’t pining, it had passed on, the Beemer was no more, it had ceased to be, it had expired and gone to meet its maker in Munich, it was a late Beemer; it was bereft of life, it rested in peace, it was an ex-alive Beemer.”

Anyway, hope springs eternal and it was delivered to BMW Sydney but when it got there the BMW techies tried to move the vehicle but could not do so because it would not start.

Then they tried to return the vehicle to 14 at the end of the day but guess what? They couldn’t because it wouldn’t start. BMW tried to return the vehicle the following day but it broke down in 3km. BMW tried to return the vehicle to 14’s home six weeks later but the driver stopped for directions and could not then proceed because the vehicle would not start.

So instead of buying a Holden V8 SS ute or a Porker, 14 traded the Six series on a new one.

Christina Aguilera and Lewis Hamilton make a nice duet.

Christina Aguilera and Lewis Hamilton make a nice duet.

Christina Aguilera and Lewis Hamilton make a nice duet.

Yup, the new Beemer exhibited precisely the same fault: failed to start on at least seven occasions including when the BMW techies had it. Of course, BMW inspected the car and found nothing wrong.

So, reader 14 wrote to Harry Kruger the boss of Beemer at the time. Harry didn’t reply but that may well have been because, as AP’s David McHugh tells us: “Under Kruger’s four-year stewardship BMW lost its market-leading position in the luxury market to competitor Daimler’s Mercedes-Benz brand, lost its lead in EVs, lost money on its ­automotive business in the first quarter of the year after the company was hit by a $2bn charge for an antitrust case and by higher upfront costs for new tech­nology.” Harry decided to look for new career horizons. As you do when you’ve been paid $10m a year.

Finally, after an exchange of lawyers’ letters, the Beemer lawyer told 14 the problem was it needed a battery charger and should be driven twice a week. Reader 14 put it on a charger and guess what?

Talking of disasters, F1 has decided to cancel this weekend’s race because of floods. So, let’s fill in the F1 space with important facts like Danny Ricciardo doesn’t believe Taylor Swift would date Ferdy Alonso because he is too focused on work.

Instead, he is betting on Chuck Leclerc because he broke up with partner Charlotte Sine, 24, a Virgo, of Monaco who speaks English, French and Italian, in December and because he has released a hit piano tune.

Of course, Hamo was in the singing caper first with his huge double with Chrissy Aguilera singing Pipe that included the lyrics (hide the kiddies’ eyes): “Spread it on the bed like a patient (yeah), I’m about to show you domination (yeah, oh)”. Strangely no rumours have spread about Hamo and Agi.



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